Magical Girl Tritannus
by BellatrixLestrangey
Summary: Combining two prompts from tumblr (one from Kiss-or-crash and one from an anon): Funny Trix Valtor/Icy AU Genderbend one shot. Because that makes sense. It's late at night, should be in bed...feel free to judge me. :P


"No way am I wearing this." Valtor frowned as Icy presented her with a pastel dress. "Absolutely not."

Icy rolled his eyes. "Sure you are." He shoved the dress into her arms. "If I have to wear this ridiculous tux, you have to wear a dress equally as appalling."

"Whose idea was it to do this anyways." Valtor muttered.

"You said you needed new clothing."

"No…I mean whose idea was it to swap the genders of everyone in all of Magix!?" Valtor threw her hands in the air.

"I thought that was your idea too." Icy declared.

"Why would I…? What would that even accomplish?" Valtor folded her arms over her chest.

"I don't know…people won't recognize you so you can destroy them easier? That or you simply wanted boobs of your own."

"That is…only partially true." Valtor admitted.

"So it was you?"

"No! No I had nothing to do with this one! I rather liked my goatee." She rubbed her chin. "But now its gone."

"The universe has a strange way of giving signs."

"Signs that I needed to shave?"

"Exactly." Icy replied.

"I just want to know who did this." Valtor tossed the dress to the side. "Forget dress shopping, I'm gonna go figure it out."

"Detective dumbass on the case." Icy muttered.

"Are you going to help?" Valtor asked.

"Honestly." Icy started. "I really don't care. We're the bad guys anyways…just let the winx do their little fairy thing again. Saves us the trouble."

"I don't think I can stand another moment without my goatee."

Icy rolled his eyes. "Of course not."

Valtor kicked an empty plastic cup across the food court. "How can you be so…comfortable like this?"

Icy shrugged. "I said I just don't care. And besides, it's not embarrassing if everyone's doing it."

"If everyone jumped off a cliff would you do it too?"

"I was probably the one to jump off the cliff to begin with, but thanks for the cliché's." Icy declared. "Now, how about we just forget about this little conundrum and get on with our lives…shall we?"

"I can't. Not without my goatee."

"Mention your facial hair one more time and I'll be rid of it myself once you get it back." Icy threatened. She rubbed Valtor's head. "Now be a good girl and go get me something to drink will you?"

"Isn't it the man's job to buy the drink?" Valtor shot back.

"Since when was I interested in gender roles. Male…female, I'm still in charge here."

"Of course you are." Valtor muttered and pulled out her wallet.

"But since you're so into those gender roles…here." Icy handed him the most floral and pink purse she could find…steal rather.

"Thanks." Valtor muttered. "You're the most…loving boyfriend I've ever had."

"I try my best." Icy shrugged. "Now hurry up with that drink woman."

"I'm a man!" Valtor declared.

"You try." Icy muttered under her breath. "You try."

"So, how's your _girlfriend_?" Stormy dropped himself down next to Icy.

Icy shrugged.

"Come on, you have no fun stories about Valtora?"

"Valtora?"

"Oh yeah. Darius…Darcy and I have been coming up with new names for all of us. She's Darius and I'm Lightning." Stormy declared.

"Dear lord…what are you calling me Stormy?"

"You mean Lightning! Well, I decided to call you Jack Frost."

"Way to be original…Lightning." Icy frowned. "Couldn't you just call me Ice or Blizzard…or anything but Jack Frost."

"Where's the fun in that?" Darcy joined the group.

"Is this the kind you wanted?" Valtor interrupted.

Icy stared at the drink in his hand. "It'll do…Valtora."

Valtor sighed. "I'm out. Done. That's enough for today. Can't get any crazier than this."

"Well you just said the magic words." Icy pointed out. "Don't you know that saying 'things can't get any worse…or crazier' is just a plot device used to insert just that…something crazier."

"You can't do that!" Stormy yelled. "Breaking the 4th wall is not allowed in this fic!"

"It is now." BellatrixLestrangey… I mean Icy replied.

"Well how could this even get any weirder than genderbend?" Valtor asked.

"With a little mermaid magic!" Tritannus shouted shrilly.

"Doesn't anyone care about copyright laws anymore." Darcy frowned.

"With my mermaid powers I have switched everyone's genders." Tritannus confessed.

"Now why the hell would you did you do that?" Icy ran a hand over his hair.

"You see, I saw those winx girls doing all those transformation sequences and it made me realize that all I ever truly wanted in life was to be a magical _girl_." Tritannus confessed. "You can just call me Tritella!"

"Okay then…" Icy replied. "Have fun with that."

"I will Jack." Tritannus shot him a cute and playful smile.

"Stop hitting on my boyfriend!" Valtor shouted. She got to her feet and wacked the mermaid with her purse. "How are you even functioning on dry land!? You're a sea creature!"

"Oh this is how we're gonna end the fic right!?" Stormy asked. "With no explanation and no resolution?"

"Exactly my dear." Icy replied. "That's the in thing now after all…which I probably started." He added just to keep Valtor from anymore 'don't go with the crowd' clichés. "And what a way to end a fic."


End file.
